Name Your Price

My best day in AP English 12? Well, it was not especially humorous, nor would it stand out particularly to another peer. But it was the first day that I truly felt like I belonged. We had just finished reading Othello and Ms. Serensky has started preparing us for our new book, The Namesake. We had to journal about our names: their origin, what we thought of them, or really anything that came to mind. It was truly the first time that I had a chance to explore my feelings about my name ever since Gwendolin put it down. You see, “I have always pretended to have a younger brother of the name of Earnest” (6). However, Gwendolin believed it to be my name, claiming that she loved me solely because of it. I told her that “I don’t think the name suits me at all,” because I hoped that she would love me despite of it. However, she confirmed my greatest fear, leaving me wrought me internal conflicts. However, the AP English class understood. Several students agreed that they fought with their names. Nicola  claimed sassily: “The question I have to ask myself is: why would I say my own name wrong?” (Zollinger). Not only that, but Sarah Ross expressed her disapproval of the incorrect spelling of her name.  Previously, I had felt foolish for my worries about my name. But I realized that every name has its issues. Even though Gwendolin may not like it, “I think Jack... a charming name” (11). The students heartily agreed with me and Ms. Serensky used some colorful diction to put down Gwendolin’s shallow-mindedness. I, of course, immediately jumped to my Gwendolin’s defense, but it made me realize something: the love of my life is not perfect. Each of us have flaws. I fully accept the name Jack. It is part of who I am and I now feel confident in that.  But the class helped me uncover the question that I had feared: Is Gwendolin worth the price of my own identity? The answer, which had once caused great mental turmoil, is now obvious to me.