I'll Make A Nerd Out Of You

Over the past two weeks, the Mulan song "I'll Make A Man Out of You" has fuel me. It has been my pump up song for the AP tests, filled with the idea of achievement and the benefits of hard work. I have singing it nonstop, gluing it into the heads of others as well. Therefore, I only saw it fit to create a spoof based on AP English class. Ms. Serensky is like Caption Shi Lang and us students are like the soldiers

Ms. Serensky:
Let's get down to business to defeat the test
Did they send me losers when I asked for the best
You're the saddest bunch I've ever met
But you bet before we're through
Clueless, I'll make a nerd out of you

Feeble on the outside
But you're full of sass
Once you find your thesis
You are sure to pass
You're a spineless pale, pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a nerd out of you
Student 1:
    I'm never gonna finish this
Student 2:
     Say good-bye to evening free-time
Student 3:
    Boy, was I a fool for scheduling in
Student 4:
     This woman's got'em scared to death
Student 5:
     Hope that I don't lose all me-time
Student 6:
     What if this class becomes the greatest ting?
Chorus -All students:
(Be a nerd)
We must write fast as an F1 racer
(Be a nerd)
And be as bright as the sun in June
(Be a nerd)
With all the smarts of a Greenlaw sister
Invincible as the Earth's pull on the moon
Serensky:
Time is racing toward us till the clock calls time
Heed my every tidbit and you might be fine
You're unsuited for the highest score
But don't pack up, you aren't through
I know I'll make a nerd out of you!
(repeat chorus)
(repeat chorus)

This is Just to Say

I have cherished the times
That were in this classroom
As well as time you were hoping would vanish
Forgive me
But each was enduring
So rich
And so droll

-I'm going to miss this class next year so much! Thank you everyone for making it so great!

AP English : The List that Says it All

1. Multiple choice extra credit games- these create some of the best memories and academic thrills.
2. SOAPSTones- cherish them while you can- it only gets worse! (this is true, but when it comes down to it, assignments like this teach you how to get things done quickly, and with a relatively low level of mental anxiety)
3. Special AP English Inside Jokes- For example: Simultaneous Disappointment (what does this mean you may ask? It is an inside joke... I can’t really tell you... Simultaneous Disappointment)
4. Extremely timely updates on Progress Book (I find it annoying when teachers do not update, but that is not a fear in this class!)
5. Realizing that you can speak your mind in an in-class discussions without judgement (for the most part, unless you say something absolutely idiotic. Then you will probably be mocked at every hour..)
6. Eventually understanding that everything has significance and that you can literally write an essay on anything.
7. Never knowing which thoughtless phrase that you said will make its way to the quote sheet (although if you creepily ask the teacher what she is reading, that has a good chance of getting there)
8. Stickers on your papers- Though a square inch of manufactured goods seems insignificant, it truly can make your day
9. Knowing how to write (trust me, it is amazing what you learn. I read my old poetry paper from tenth grade, the one that I was so proud of, and gawked at its pitiful ramblings)
10. You lose a social life, but gain a family (although it should be noted that if you are annoying and bitter, people still probably will not like you... sorry)

My Judgmental Onlookers

Iago: “she will find the errors of her choice” (Shakespeare 1.3.347-348)
Rodney: “You always know these things. I don’t know  why I’m always so surprised at how smart you are” (Currie 131)
Algernon: “there is no use speculating on that subject” (Wilde 3)
Iago: (speaking to Lizzy, although she cannot hear him) “It is now high supper time... About it” (Shakespeare 4.3.241-242)
Rodney: “Really? Already?” (Currie 129)
Algernon: “That may be” (Wilde 41)
Rodney: “You know how bad I am with time” (Currie 131)
Algernon: “It is very foolish of you” (Wilde 6)
Rodney: “I’m not the smartest, but I’m also not as stupid as you think” (Currie 129)
Algernon: “I wish to goodness we had a few fools left” (Wilde 16)
Iago: “Have you forgot all place of sense and duty?” (Shakespeare 2.3.166)
Algernon: “It is awfully hard work doing nothing” (Wilde 17)
Iago: “Very nature will instruct her in it and compel her to some second choice” (Shakespeare 2.1.232-233)
Iago: “Though I may fear her will, recoiling to her better judgement” (Shakespeare 3.3.235-236)
Rodney: “I’m not saying that you’re wrong... but I don’t think that’s true at all” (Currie 128)
Algernon: “Literary criticism is not your forte” (Wilde 6)