Disappointment v. Hope

When we want something badly enough, we trick ourselves into thinking that we have it. I have faced this particular condition recently in regards to my wish that it was summer already. For months, we have suffered weather that falls well below freezing. A few weekends ago, it hit forty degrees. FORTY. I had to walk into town. I met up with my friend Jenny, wearing just a t-shirt and capris. As we walked, we passed a middle age couple. The women glanced at us judgmentally and laughed: “T-shirts! Stop kidding yourselves! It's not summer for a long time!”

She walked on and we looked at each other, gaping. How dare she take this small glimpse of sunlight away from us! I did not want to hear her words; I wanted to believe that the birds would start singing any minute. Sadly, this did not happen...

I had another incident just yesterday. The gymnastics season has just finished, and I wanted to exercise. So I conditioned inside for a while, and then I decide to go for a run. I was already wearing shorts and I did not really feel like putting leggings on underneath. I checked the temperature: 27 degrees-- that’s warmer than it sounds, right? I figured that I may as well put on a hoodie, because it was below freezing.

Don't wear these in 27 degree weather.

As I started running outside, I felt fine for about ten seconds. Then, the fact that it was below freezing hit me. The cold burned my legs, and I reluctantly admitted to myself that perhaps shorts were not adequate clothing for the weather. I could only stand it for a little over a mile before I had to go inside.

On both of these instances, I did not want to face the truth: that winter still had much time left. Talking myself into believing it was summer ended up hurting me in the end. Yet I do not regret this behavoir. When it actually is summer, I will be the first to embrace it. Hope keeps me going; the occasional warm day fuels me. In the end, hope beats a small amount of disappointment.