Although I strongly dislike Moushumi, I find that I can really relate to her when it comes to confusion with national identity. For I too, was born in England, and I too, moved to the states at a young age-- four and a half, to be exact. Born in England? Really? People ask with bemused expressions. But you don’t have an accent at all! I acknowledge this statement with a half laugh and say something seemingly related, allowing them to go on with their lives. When I moved to America, I feared it, just like Moushumi’s parents, “perhaps because of its vastness” (212). I wanted my mom to make my bedroom smaller because I thought it had too much space (now, of course, it never seems to have enough). Yet unlike Moushumi, I wanted to get rid of my British accent. I knew that I stood out a lot already; the accent just added to that. I wanted to fit into the American culture and have things in common with my friends in preschool. When I lived in England, I had no problem standing out. For about six months, I would only agree to wear a Snow White costume to preschool. But here, in America, everything had changed, so I felt like I needed to also. For years, I would try to make my mom say the American versions of words. Now, as I look back on these times, I realize that I did not understand that it is not a crime to show ones culture in another country. Though I still craved English foods like Marmite and Ribina, I did not want to have a foreign background. The American culture sucked me in, just as it did with Gogol and Moushumi. Over the years, my family has accumulated more and more artifacts that claim us as Americans: the flat screen TV, the family-sized minivan, the love of Chipotle, and the American flag, which we ended up stuffing behind a desk in a particularly dark corner because we never got around to putting it outside. However, I still desperately cling on to the last remnants of a British childhood. I admire my red passport with a golden unicorn and the fading traces of what used to be an accent. Sometimes I feel like a faker, like people will only believe me if they see my name printed on a green card. I do not want to completely give up my past, but America is my home now.
Lizzie, I am very glad that you still feel proud of your English culture. I admire how as you grew up, your appreciation of your cultural background increased with your age. I feel as if this is the opposite for Gogol. I think he is very immature for not fully appreciating where he came from, yet I do somewhat blame his parents for this. They tried very hard to preserve their Indian culture that it was too overwhelming for Gogol to embrace. I think this was a major cause of rebellion against his parents and his culture, and his yearning to become a "regular American".
ReplyDeleteLizzie, I am very glad that you still feel proud of your English culture. I admire how as you grew up, your appreciation of your cultural background increased with your age. I feel as if this is the opposite for Gogol. I think he is very immature for not fully appreciating where he came from, yet I do somewhat blame his parents for this. They tried very hard to preserve their Indian culture that it was too overwhelming for Gogol to embrace. I think this was a major cause of rebellion against his parents and his culture, and his yearning to become a "regular American".
ReplyDeleteLizzy, it's truly nice to actually learn this about you. I feel (just by my nature) that I should dispute something you've said, but you've posted nothing to argue really (which in the end works out well for me). You should bring this up in class discussion, I'd like to hear from you and your opinions on dual-cultures.
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